Friday, 16 March 2012

RE: p.p.s

I take it back.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

The faint glint

Of silver and red, the short calm after the storm. It becomes shorter, and the storm has to be stronger to bring the same calm. When will the storm be too much for this boat?

Fuck right off.

So there is this person. Sitting across the table. And I really really like her. But there is this person in my life that I'm supposed to be there for all the time. And I feel like shit. I hate my mind. P.s. She clearly knows because she is acting like she hates me. P.p.s atleast I'm not thinking of swallowing a bottle of aspirin today.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012


Today has been great, not even sarcasm. I feel one step closer to sane, I feel like I have made a new good friend, and I feel a lot less destructive. Yet I still think I'm going to do something I might regret. Maybe I would regret not doing it, if my sane mind wants it, then I say, why not?

Monday, 12 March 2012

What is impossible?

Is there such a thing? I always wonder. Is it impossible that one day I may actually function as a normal human being? It feels it. Is it impossible to fall in love when in love? I hope so. But right now, I really don't know, and someone really needs to help me before I fuck everything. Sometimes, just every now and then, I wish I could wake up with amnesia.

Sunday, 11 March 2012


The complete opposite. My mind is racing with so much emotion. How can it be this hard to think logically? Why can't I go more than a few weeks without trying to blow my life apart. I want these things so badly, but I know I shouldn't. Has that ever stopped me? Yes. Will it forever? I doubt it. Alone again.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Altered Reality

I wish I could get sober, I feel like I am living my life high on so much stuff atm. I can't ever keep my head straight for more than a day at a time. It's like an escape that I want to escape from, but I don't know where to go. What do I do? Carry on. What else.

Another day,

A whole day, gone. I don't know where they go these past few months. I don't remember most of it. It feels only minutes ago I was last writing here. How many stupid things have I done today? I guess I find out over the coming days. That's always how it is.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012


It amazes me where the hours seem to go. Sit down, gaze out the window for what seems like 5 minutes, and a few hours have flown by. Walk around the house trying to find something you feel like doing, the day is almost over. Does anyone else get the feeling there are people turning your clocks forward all the time?

A Quiet Mind

So here I am. Again trying to find a place to hide my crazy. A secret diary to be read by people who I will never meet, but who can hopefully relate, maybe take something away, and who knows, possibly even help. I'd like that. Let's just see how it goes.