Friday, 25 May 2012
My ultimatum. Something changes else I guess I'll be seeing you guys. You all helped. But it only makes sense this way, because there will we more bad than good from now, thereby bringing my average life happiness down. Only logical this way. 48 hours for a new beginning. We can hope.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Monday, 14 May 2012
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Monday, 7 May 2012
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
This feeling? A feeling, wow, what? Of hope? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? This is alien. The sudden urge to go out, buy a hot air balloon, a great friend, fine food, champagne, good cigarettes, and just fly for hours, with no care of destination or consequence. That would be fine. So Long, Lonesome.
Monday, 23 April 2012
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
I'm sure that lots of people would care if I wasn't here anymore. I don't mean to sound bigheaded, and I'm sure you understand what I mean. If people were told that you were going to die, or had already, they would be sad. All of your family, your friends, old friends, close friends, there would be a lot of people that it would affect. But I do wonder, I really do, that if I told my landlord I was living somewhere else from next week, and then just gave up, who would notice? My family? Doubtful. And when do friends check in? I do feel like its 100% on me. I might just stop trying to communicate and see how long before I hear from anyone. I give it at least a month. I'll let you know.
Thursday, 15 March 2012
So there is this person. Sitting across the table. And I really really like her. But there is this person in my life that I'm supposed to be there for all the time. And I feel like shit. I hate my mind. P.s. She clearly knows because she is acting like she hates me. P.p.s atleast I'm not thinking of swallowing a bottle of aspirin today.
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Today has been great, not even sarcasm. I feel one step closer to sane, I feel like I have made a new good friend, and I feel a lot less destructive. Yet I still think I'm going to do something I might regret. Maybe I would regret not doing it, if my sane mind wants it, then I say, why not?
Monday, 12 March 2012
Is there such a thing? I always wonder. Is it impossible that one day I may actually function as a normal human being? It feels it. Is it impossible to fall in love when in love? I hope so. But right now, I really don't know, and someone really needs to help me before I fuck everything. Sometimes, just every now and then, I wish I could wake up with amnesia.
Sunday, 11 March 2012
The complete opposite. My mind is racing with so much emotion. How can it be this hard to think logically? Why can't I go more than a few weeks without trying to blow my life apart. I want these things so badly, but I know I shouldn't. Has that ever stopped me? Yes. Will it forever? I doubt it. Alone again.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Wednesday, 7 March 2012
It amazes me where the hours seem to go. Sit down, gaze out the window for what seems like 5 minutes, and a few hours have flown by. Walk around the house trying to find something you feel like doing, the day is almost over. Does anyone else get the feeling there are people turning your clocks forward all the time?