48 hours.

My ultimatum. Something changes else I guess I'll be seeing you guys. You all helped. But it only makes sense this way, because there will we more bad than good from now, thereby bringing my average life happiness down. Only logical this way. 48 hours for a new beginning. We can hope.

The easy way out

Someone tell me what to do? The only reason I am alive is promises to people to stay that way, but surely if these people don't care about the promises then what matters?

I feel.

Feel alive, feel amazing, feel astonishing, astonishingly good, and today has been fantastic, life changed. X

Jump

Jump with me now. X

A permanent sleep

Is on the horizon, I don't know what else can help anymore. I can't take getting rejected anymore.

If this

is contagious, and is going to infect everyone around me, everyone I love and cherish, then why do I carry on? Surely it would mean more to them for me to leave, with no chance of returning. Surely they can understand, that its hard enough without seeing them struggle. x

I know it's more than that.

But ultimately, rejection makes me feel worthless. How much longer can I go?